A Mind Trick

I write this letter to add it to the pile of letters I have previously written with nowhere to send them. And even though I know they will never be read, there is still some satisfaction in writing them.

I will tell you about my new lover. He is just like me when I was with you; your complete opposite. He is such a great compliment to my current personality. The best thing about him is that he looks nothing like what he really is, and neither do I. I can finally say I am satisfied. And I think I have you to thank for that. Perhaps if it weren’t for you, I would have never realized that this was what I was looking for. And, as corny as it may sound, everything I do reminds me of you.

Just now I am beginning to understand what you meant when you were explaining all the reasons behind your desires. It never made sense to me at the time, but it is all falling into place now. Because, to my surprise, and probably yours too, I have come to feel the exact same way. I keep remembering every word you said in every situation as it happens to me. I talk to him and I find myself saying and acting in a way that only rings one bell; yours.

I never thought I would ever become that person. I’m being told that I look like someone who has been doing this their whole life, and I always feel like replying, “well, I had a great teacher.” I don’t though, because, no one really wants to know that.

I look at my life now and I realize that my whole life has turned into a copy of what your life used to be and I wonder, was that just your impression on me or have I become this person because underneath it is who I really am?
Or… has my mind been subliminally trying to get you back all this time and when it failed, it came up with the most destructive alternative possible… by turning me into you?

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